Choices and Sleepless Nights

June 15. 2015 started out with an appointment with the oncologist. I was ok, but in pain that had me sweating and trembling, or was that fear? Maybe it was both. I mean, this is real now. It is ME with cancer. ME that has to make choices as to treatment and all that. What did I want? What could they do?

What a shock when the doctor told me they are not going to do any surgery on the breast because it was too far spread. OK. He was sending me to a radiologist to set up treatments on my lower back to bring me some relief from the pain. He also scheduled an appointment for two tests, both would include nuclear dye to be injected into me. Now why? I mean, here is someone with cancer, that is destroying her body, and you want to put poison in? Oh, wait, it is so you can see how many organs are affected and then the other is for the bones, to see how far it is in my bones. Now we thought it was important at first, but had concerns about what it would do to my body. So we decided to pray and ask God to stop anything that would cause my body more harm. You know, the prayer of asking Him to shut doors that are not from Him.

I mean, the doctor is telling us I had about 6 months, and that they would keep me comfortable and that I might need chemo if it was systemic, throughout my body, but that would only buy time. Um, no thank you. There is no hope here so I don’t think so. No chemo and no radiation. I saw what that did to my Dad and a sweet lady from our Bible study, both of whom are gone now. And fast. Did I mention that his office was dark ( there were lights on) and you could feel hopelessness and death. Kind of creepy.

That afternoon we met with Carla. What a difference. You could feel LIFE in that room and a peace that could only come from God. Well, Carla took a few hours with us. She had so much love and compassion for us. She told us that we were going to be very aggressive in my protocol because of how advanced things were. Boy she wasn’t kidding.

hippocrates-quote

She began with food and a supplement, a couple things to start cleaning my blood up. Took away all my food-like things plus all meat, dairy and grains and no more sugar for me either. All the things that feed cancer were taken out of my diet. OK, now mind you, I am not a veggie eater., well, I am now. She wanted to help my body prepare for the next step, so my diet was clean and oh, important here, alkaline water, she had me drink a gallon a day. Next I was to do a ten day cleanse transformation.

She took a live blood sample, and boy, my blood was in bad shape. I honestly do not know how I was alive. That gave Carla a look at what I needed to jump start my immune system, it was all bogged down in sludge. The Bible tells us that life is in the blood, not in mine!

We were told that the blood analysis was key to knowing what my body needed to help itself. We are all different and our needs are different, so this is key to our protocol. You know what, I had HOPE now. She was setting up my own, personalized journey to healing. Step by step.

At this stage, we still had one appointment to go to the surgeon for a biopsy on the lump in my breast. Did I mention it is very very big and hard, about the size of a tangerine?

We went to see him on June 18th. I liked him right off. A compassionate man, gentle and caring. I did not like what he had to say though. He could not understand why we were having a biopsy, he said the breast needed to be removed. Talk about a gut punch. I looked at Ed, and then the doctor and said no, that is not an option. I would not consider chemo or radiation. See, I had a plan and that gave me hope and a boldness to say what I wanted and didn’t want. We were going to do the biopsy, just to see what kind of cancer, but that never happened. Insurance dictates what you can and cannot do. Not to mention a hefty deductible, co-pays and then your 20% or 30%.

End of the road…we learned we would have to pay $2200 to have one test, and higher for the next immediately after and then the biopsy. There was our answer. We did not have the money to pay for any of that. Ed called and cancelled the tests and appointments. Whew.

While dealing with this, the pain was increasing and my mobility was decreasing. I needed more and more help with daily living.

The 19th of June we saw Carla again. Now she was funny. At least I thought so. See, a few years ago I was reading about the Gerson Therapy for cancer. One thing stood out and made me say no way would I do this! That one thing – coffee enemas several times a day! Nope. Not gonna do that, not ever. So guess what Carla said I had to do? Yup, coffee enemas two or three times a day! Oh dear. Oh the comedy of errors in beginning that adventure. First off, I could not do it for myself. I mean, I could not lay down on the floor, or in and out of bed, that required help. My husband, well, he is love in action. He helped me get into bed and he did the enemas for me, still does.

That first one, oy what a comedy of errors. Sure, hold in 32oz for 15 minutes. Right. I made it to 3 minutes. This was going to take practice! Carla would not take no for an answer. My life depends on doing what it takes to get my immune system working and to starve the cancer.

Carla warned me that things could get worse before getting better. I think I half paid attention to that. Let me say this, boy was she right!

Categories: cancer, family | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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